Midlife and menopause is a time of many transitions. Shifting hormones may produce hot flashes, night sweats, memory loss, insomnia, and mood swings. Our growing realization of life’s impermanence leads to taking stock of our lives’ successes and failures, how they’ve compared with what we expected, and what’s next. Identity and esteem issues arise as changing roles, like children leaving home, cause us to question “Who am I? Who do I want to be?” Through this, some of us will discover greater clarity, strength and confidence about ourselves, while others will feel confused, lost, distressed. We will be faced with our parents aging, ourselves aging, numerous relationship changes, leaving work, resuming work, and multiple situational influences which may destabilize our sense of self and well-being. Cultivating good health, mind, body and spirit, will be paramount to surviving and thriving all midlife and menopause brings. Here’s what I suggest:
1. Being positive and open-minded. Viewing midlife as a journey, an opportunity to become more fully present to your life and who you are, will enable you to better weather the ups and downs. Research indicates that women who adopt this attitude have less intense physical symptoms, fewer mood issues, less esteem problems, and more personal satisfaction. Be prepared to let go of pre-conceived ideas of your life and how it was supposed to be. Marcus Proust said, “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new lands, but in having new eyes”.
2. Rediscovering you. Remember adolescence when you took those shaky steps to becoming who you are. Welcome to “second adulthood” as Susan Braun Levine describes it in her book, Inventing the Rest of Our Lives. Think about who you were before you became a worker, wife, mother, daughter, best friend, etc. Ask yourself “Who am I?” Deep down where roles fall away and your character emerges. This is a chance to reconnect with those parts of yourself you’ve buried and breathe new life into being creative, adventurous, bold, sensitive, who knows. It’s up to you.
3. Listening to your inner guidance. With estrogen declining and a deepening sense of life’s impermanence, many women discover a newfound freedom to loosen the bonds of being who they “should be” and becoming who they choose to be. When you can quiet the voices of what others want or want for you, you can hear your inner wisdom. At first, it may be hardly audible. But, the more you tune in, the stronger and clearer it becomes. It is not the voice of self-centeredness, but inner knowing which begins with self-compassion and extends to others. Listen wisely.
4. Choosing nourishing relationships. At midlife, we may find that relationships we’ve been involved in for years, aren’t working well for us. Why? While it occurs for many reasons like changing interests, frequently it’s because we don’t feel emotionally nourished and that there’s enough give and take. The bottom line is to not force yourself to stay in situations you’ve outgrown. Instead, ask yourself honestly, “Do I enjoy being with this person? Does she/he bring something positive to my life even if it’s changed over time? How much do I want them to remain a part of my life?” Respect what you want and need equally. It’s time.
5. Reducing hot flashes. Now, for some body wisdom. While hot flashes are a product of estrogen shifts, certain substances/situations will aggravate them. So, limit your consumption of alcohol, caffeine, spicy foods, and hot beverages. Dress in layers and sleep with a foot or arm uncovered to stay cooler as heat intensifies them. Reduce stress by shortening your to-do list, taking regular breaks, working out, and practicing relaxation. 15-20 minutes of deep breathing or meditation daily was shown to decrease hot flashes up to 70%. If you have trouble sitting still, try yoga or pilates. Discover what works for you.
6. Building heart and bone health. With declining estrogen, women are at increased risk for heart disease and osteoporosis. Heart disease is the #1 cause of death in women over 50 and complications from osteoporosis including hip fracture, likewise result in disability and death. Exercise and good nutrition are key. Twenty to thirty minutes of weight-bearing exercise, e.g. walking, weight training, circuit workout, combined with cardio building, e.g. jogging, aerobics, swimming, several times weekly, is recommended. Daily calcium intake for peri-and post-menopausal women should total 1200-1500 mg. Calcium and 800 IU Vitamin D for absorption. Choosing calcium rich, high protein, and low fat foods will support bone and heart health.
7. Enjoying sex. With hormonal and relationship shifts, sex often changes at midlife and menopause. According to Dr. Jacob Klein, Director of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Missouri Baptist Medical Center, “As women go through perimenopause, arousal proceeds desire”, meaning that women need to feel aroused to be interested in sex. “It’s like going to a restaurant when you’re not really hungry, but your appetizer arrives, you see other people eating, and you start feeling hungry,” he commented. Physical symptoms of vaginal dryness and decreased lubrication may lessen interest and pleasure. But, having sex regularly will offset these some. So understand what’s going on, don’t take it personally, make adjustments, and have fun!
8. Living on purpose. Creating the life you want may be the biggest challenge and opportunity midlife women face. It involves discovering and prioritizing what matters most to us, and then taking actions to pursue these values and goals. For one woman, it might be returning to school and completing her degree which she interrupted to have children. For another, leaving a marriage which has not been nourishing for years. It requires the courage to follow our hearts, whether others approve or understand. To accept our responsibility for the life we create, and living our dreams.
9. Creating a spirit-filled life. What this means is having a sense of connection with something bigger than oneself, whether it’s God, nature, or the universe. Spirit gives us a feeling that there is more to life than our physical existence and at midlife when the reality of our mortality confronts us, many of us long for this knowing. The ways we attain spiritual connectedness are unique whether through organized religion or individual practice, but all have value. Look at Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. and Gordon Dverin, Ph.D., Your Soul’s Compass, for ideas about accessing your spirituality.
10. Embracing stewardship. As our connection with something bigger than ourselves grows, we often discover an interest in protecting and caring for our communities and our planet. We want our children, others we love and even those we don’t know, to be free of the inner and outer obstacles that hindered us. In becoming more fully ourselves, we discover a love and respect for all that is. Healing ourselves helps the world toward a better tomorrow.
For me, the journey of midlife and menopause has been rich beyond words. This doesn’t mean it’s been easy, and each of us will have our share of ups and downs as we traverse this unexplored terrain. But this second adulthood affords us the opportunity to re-examine our lives with the wisdom, strength and resources, we’ve gained, and to decide, if we’re willing, what matters and what’s next. A time to dream again and to live our dreams.
The effect of positive or negative emotions is so powerful, it changes lives. It is widely documented that a person’s emotional health influences medical outcomes and can lead to depression or happiness.
Research shows that one function of the human brain is to produce substances that effect emotional and physical health. One such substance is endorphins /en·dor·phins/ (en-dor´fins) which play a vital role in the body’s ability to heal itself. These studies shows that laughter can reduce stress, decrease pain, lower blood pressure, and boost the immune system because laughter increased endorphins which increase immune function and make you more resistant to disease.
Do you ever wonder why you feel better after a good laugh, a long run, having sex or any strenuous workout? It’s because of the endorphins released in your body which gives an elated feeling that sometimes last up to 14 hours depending on the individual.
WHAT ARE ENDORPHINS?
As a healthcare provider and educator, I have taught that “endorphin is one of a group of opiate-like peptides produced naturally by the body in the brain at neural synapses. At various points in the central nervous system pathways they modulate the transmission of pain perceptions”. The term endorphin was derived at by combining the words endogenous and morphine”. Endorphins produces a morphine effect raise the pain threshold, produce sedation and euphoria. This effect can be blocked by naloxone which is a narcotic antagonist medication.
Endorphins may also regulate the release of growth hormones from the pituitary gland and are released when you, for example, cut you finger or burn your hand. Initially you feel severe pain but it soon disappeared due to the release of endorphins that kills the pain.
HOW TO RAISE ENDORPHIN LEVELS?
I see sickness all around. Most of it could be prevented with more attention to health habits, thoughts, emotions, nutrition and actions. How do you respond to stress in your life? Any prolonged strenuous exercises such as swimming, walking, bike riding, cross-country skiing, tennis, having sex will raise endorphin levels; “the happy juice”. UV light increase endorphins but even with the risk of getting skin cancer, people still sun bathe. People will continue to be out in the sun because it leads to that “euphoric feeling” and people like feeling good. Laughter is good medicine for the soul, raises endorphins levels. Keep laughing!
CONCLUSION: It’s time to start taking big steps towards creating that balanced life you want. Just as endorphins increased your happiness and outlook on life, positive attitude and thoughts increased your mental health. Set big financial goals, start a successful home based business so you can make the money needed for a healthy financial future. Eat healthy foods with the right portions to prevent weight gain and obesity. Exercise frequently to reduce stress, increase circulation, maintain desirable body weight and have a believe system – prayer works! Remember your mind or body is a terrible thing to waste.
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Science Fiction doesn’t get much better then this. Dune is every Science Fiction aficionado’s wet dream. Many people claim Dune is Science Fiction’s answer to “Lord of the Rings” and I have to agree: it sure is. There are many good science fiction books, but Dune is indeed a giant among giants. It truly is a pinnacle of Science Fiction literary achievement. If you haven’t read Dune, doesn’t waste any more time. Read it now!
# 2: Starship Troopers (Robert Heinlein)
War is beautiful according to Robert Heinlein. This is a novel about the glorification of war. The premise: space-marines wearing special armor battle vicious alien insect aliens. This is classic “old school” science fiction at it’s best. It’s a rip-roaring ride through the galaxy that you don’t want to miss.
#3 : Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
This is one of the corner stones of science fiction and one novel that you shouldn’t miss. A critique on society, the story of a boy who refuses to give up, a battle to save the fate of mankind – this science fiction book combines them all into one addictive and compelling mix that shouldn’t be missed.
#4: Foundation (Isaac Asimov)
This is undoubtedly on of the finest works of science fiction ever written. If you a fan of science fiction with grandiose and epic storylines, get your hand on this book.
A corollary: Foundation is a series for people who love grand and complex ideas. If you are looking for a book heavy on the action but thin on concepts, this may not be the book for you. The strength of the ideas presented are the focus of this story, not the characterization. Regardless, this is one of those Science Fiction books that you just need to read. You will never think about Science Fiction the same way after reading the Foundation series.
#5: Snow Crash (Neal Stephenson)
Part-time hacker and pizza delivery boy and full time samurai swordsman, meet Hiro Protagonist. Snow Crash is breath taking novel with action and pacing thick enough to drown in. Snow Crash redefined and rejuvenated the Cyberpunk genre. If you want a novel with bucket loads of action, futuristic technologies ala The Matrix, and the gritty futuristic dystopia of the Blade Runner world, Snow Crash is the perfect recommendation.
#6: Forever War (Joe Haldeman)
The Forever War is pretty much The Vietnam War in space. It’s brutal and bloody and makes a strong case that war really is pointless. Don’t let the strong political statement of the novel deter you, however; this is Science Fiction at its finest: a complex, disturbing novel that makes you think…and feel. It’s a great science fiction story that you don’t want to miss, a true masterpiece of the genre.
#7: The Night’s Dawn (Peter Hamilton)
This is space opera science fiction done right: Massive space battles, a large cast of compelling characters, political tension between planets, and an all out grand adventure. There is a good deal of space opera in the science fiction genre already, but Peter Hamilton is one of the best character writers in the genre and his plots are just so damn interesting. He really knows how to write a rip-roaring adventure that keeps you up into the late hours of the morning. Those in the mood for something big with lots of action, both in and out of space, Night’s Dawn trilogy delivers.
#8: Gap (Steven R. Donaldson)
This disturbing series is a dark ride into hell that you don’t want to miss. It’s one of the darkest set of books I’ve read, period. But the world that Stephen Donaldson draws is superb. Stephen Donaldson is an author that cares deeply about characterization, and he excels at crafting anti-heroes. If you are looking for some dark space opera, I highly recommend the Gap series.
#9: Otherland (Tad William)
Those looking for something like the Matrix in written form need look no longer. Otherland is about as close as you’ll get. With less mumbo jumbo psycho babble and more realism, Otherland makes for a really compelling read. Otherland starts slow, but those willing give it a chance will be greatly rewarded.
#10: Altered Carbon (Richard Morgan)
This is one dystopian cyberpunk with a lot of style and some seriously punishing action. I guarantee that once you start reading this novel, you won’t be putting it down. Morgan is a man with some visionary ideas; he always has interesting characters, twisting plots, and heart-pounding action. Those that love Blade Runner, Snow Crash, an
In the Western Medicine paradigm of technology and science the primary emphasis is on the physical body and how to treat disease. Thus, Western society has become a society of sickness and disease rather than wellness. Physical health is one-third the equation for wholeness and healthiness. Western Medicine over looks the other two – emotional and spiritual.
The cycle of wholeness and health seeks to attune the person’s mind, body and spirit to the needs and messages of the body, as well as, to the natural means the body uses to maintain health. Similar to the balancing cycles in nature, such as the sun and rain nourishing crops, Ayurveda tradition observes the natural cycles of detoxification and rejuvenation that are ever present in the human physiology.
To maintain health, the body needs to rid itself of damaging and unwanted elements – [detoxification] and supply necessary nutrients [rejuvenation] in a balanced fashion. Through combining botanicals in a manner that promotes mild detoxification and cellular rejuvenation this promotes the natural cycle of body health. The result is the enjoyment of new levels of health and well-being in body, mind, and spirit.
By examining how an herb or fruit affects the physiology, Ayurveda establishes how different botanicals can affect the mind, [emotions], the subtle energies of the body, and ultimately the spirit. Ayurveda teaches that each area of health is interdependent.
To maintain health the mind [emotions] and spirit need to be nurtured and supported. The four most important rituals to create emotional and spiritual health is: Prayer, Meditation, Gratitude, Spending time in nature, including near fire and water.
Remember to be consciously aware of the role Spirit plays in your life. Spiritual health is created through being intimately connected to your spouse, partner, family, friends, and community, resulting in social health. Spiritual and social health, are interconnected. It is through your committed relationships that you will create the greatest opportunities for spiritual growth and for learning how to receive and impart unconditional love. Only love is real – all else is self-defeating.
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, “101 Great Way